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Overcoming Anxiety during and after a Divorce

Summary – It has been shown that the three most stressful times in a person’s life are the death of an immediate family member, a divorce, and a foreclosure. Anxiety can be very threatening to your system and in order to overcome it, a psychological, spiritual, and nutritional approach often needs to be taken. In addition to those circumstances, I have also worked with people using this process below after the loss of work, mounting stress, anticipation, alcohol or drug withdrawal, and more.
Mental approach:
In my book, “The Power of Personality Types in Love and Relationships” I offer many aspects of what are the causes of anxiety and ways to overcome them using a psychological approach.
One technique is discovering your negative self-fulfilling prophecy combined with your “Emotional Prison.” An Emotional Prison is a place, created by your ego, of strong negative emotion, that prevents you from asking for what you want.
It is a place you go when you are worried, or in fear, that you have lost control of getting something you want. In a relationship it is the place we go when we feel we don’t matter, that we are unloved, or become jealous and start accusing others of issues that are mostly untrue because of our own issue we are not facing, but we choose to blame the person we love.
In life this happens when we feel defeated or that we cannot have something we were expecting. Examples are a person telling themselves they can never have love or money because they are getting divorced, despite the evidence against this all around them.
When this combines with a negative self-fulfilling prophecy a person starts to feel that their life will never be complete, have purpose, or will ever give them the satisfaction they want.
In a relationship your Emotional Prison can be triggered in an instant but if you know what yours is, you can also get out of it in an instant by asking for what you want from the person you love. In life, you can get out of it in an instant by taking a breath and not listening to your fear based ego but look for the evidence showing why a new beginning will be the best thing you could have asked for.
A big part of overcoming anxiety mentally is awareness. That means not listening to the “inner voice” of the person who helped you to create this negative prophecy, such as an overprotective or overbearing parent. The key is to stay in the moment and face what you have to on a day to day basis, moving forward rather than allowing the future to overwhelm you with negativity that has little to no chance of becoming reality.
There are so many proven benefits of mediation for helping with anxiety, depression, and stress. Harvard University found that two parts of the brain, responsible for compassion and creativity, actually increased in size after only six weeks of meditation. It has also been proven to help calm irrational thoughts typical of high stress, little sleep, or O.C.D. that are prone to exaggerating and creating negative self-fulfilling prophecies.
The simplest type of meditation to start with is a Zen, or breathing meditation.
Strenuous exercise for 30 minutes, three to five times a week has been proven to reduce or eliminate symptoms of depression or anxiety. This includes activities like strenuous hiking, walking, running, biking, rowing, or weight lifting.
When we exercise, our bodies release mood-enhancing endorphins, releases muscle tension, and reduces levels of the stress hormone Cortisol, as well as improves sleep.
Multiple studies have shown that exercise reduces symptoms of depression and promote positive mental health. The antidepressant effect of regular physical exercise is comparable to some antidepressants. Even 10 to 15 minutes of exercise can improve mood in the short term.
In my opinion, the most overlooked aspect of overcoming anxiety is nutrition.
Foods to avoid:
Sugar has been shown, in multiple studies, to have similar effects as drugs on a person’s mood. Dr. Lustig, a pioneer in the research on sugar and its affect on the brain, lectures on how sugar has the same effects as drugs and should be regulated especially in schools.
It is important to note, that white carbohydrates and flour such as cereal, bread, and pasta (both wheat and white) turn to sugar after eating them unless you burn them off soon after eating them with exercise.
Avoid Processed foods – Researchers in London found that eating a diet of processed foods increased the risk for depression. The study found that people who mainly ate fried food, processed meat, pasteurized dairy products and sugary desserts had a 58 percent higher risk of depression versus those who ate healthy foods.
Avoid Genetically modified foods (GMO) and any foods containing GMO’s in them.
Avoid table salt. Table salt is known to raise a person’s blood pressure. Instead use Himalayan salt because it’s loaded with natural minerals beneficial to your body. Always avoid table salt because they’re processed with bleach and often filled with other chemical additives.
Drinks to avoid:
Because they are filled with sugar and other chemical additives, avoid soda, energy drinks, fruit juices, and coffee. Drink mountain spring or pure filtered water as a healthy supplement to any of these. Like sugar, caffeine is a stimulant and will increase your heart rate.
Although drinking alcohol seems to have a calming effect short term, it dehydrates the body, and raises heart rate and blood pressure, leaving us feeling more anxious than ever.
What to eat:
Many nutritionist, such as David Getoff, Dr. Mercola, and Dr. McBride (GAPS diet) suggest foods high in animal fat, (natural and organic animal fat) because it aids in giving the brain nutrients it needs to heal and function properly. That means grass-fed, organic beef and free-range organic chicken, and eggs from free-range organic hens. If they are not those types of organic fat, they are filled with pesticides, hormones, and other unnatural compounds that will make your circumstance worse. Also suggested to eat are organic vegetables and nuts.
Here are a few foods that have actually been proven to lower stress levels:
1) Blueberries: High antioxidant content in blueberries counteracts the production of Cortisol, a chemical in the brain released during stress.
2) Acacia berries:  The acacia berry has phytonutrients that have been shown to enhance your mood. They also level your blood sugar, therefore reduce sugar cravings.
3) Cacao: Raw cacao is the ingredient found in chocolate. It is high in flavonoids, which offer relaxation and also contain phenethylamine, a chemical that enhances mood. You can add raw cacao to your smoothies, your or by eating a small amounts of dark chocolate. Generally, opt for bars with 70% cacao or higher.
4) Maca root: Maca root is a powder made from a Peruvian root. Maca root, in its unprocessed form, contains a phytonutrient that helps ward off anxiety and depression. Some studies have found that maca root is just as useful at fighting depression as prescription antidepressants, since it contains so many mood enhancing nutrients, and makes a perfect all natural alternative. The powder can be made into a tea or sprinkled over other foods to give you the maximum health benefits. I add half a teaspoon to my smoothies.
5) Spinach: This lean, green leaf is high in magnesium, improves your body’s overall response to stress and stops your blood pressure from spiking.
6) Sunflower seeds: Sunflower seeds contain a high source of folate, which help your body produce the feel-good brain chemical, dopamine. Normal levels of dopamine help control your emotional responses.
7) Walnuts: It has been shown that eating at least one ounce of walnuts a day can prevent your blood pressure from rising and keep your anxiety levels in check. If you tend to have higher levels of adrenaline and anxiety, make sure you get some of these delicious nuts into your diet so you don’t make your heart work more than it needs to. Walnuts can be a great addition to any salad or salad dressing.
Source –
Below are some easy to find herbs and supplements that can help with Anxiety and Depression:

Beneficial Herbs for Anxiety and depression: 
– Turmeric
– Passionflower
Beneficial Supplements for Anxiety and Depression:
– Probiotics
– Vitamin B-12
– Magnesium
– Cod Liver Oil
Other options to overcome Anxiety:
Acupuncture, Tai chi and other martial arts, dance, and any other sport, hobby, or physical movement. for more info or check out my book here.

Billy Farr




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