Close quarters, packed schedules, and expected routines: after years together, couples sometimes become complacent in their relationship and struggle to effectively communicate with each other. Unfortunately, this lack of connection and honesty can often begin to affect intimacy and ultimately destroy marriages.
Whether you’ve been married for a few days, or a few decades, communicating with your spouse is of the utmost importance. Why? Here are just a few of the ways a lack of effective, healthy communication can affect your relationship:
Disconnect in the bedroom – Physical intimacy is an essential aspect of most relationships: it reiterates feelings of closeness and connection. Keeping your thoughts hidden when it comes to sex, therefore, can not only prevent you from feeling fulfilled in your own desires, but it can also cause your partner to feel disconnected from you.
Communicate your fantasies and turn-ons so you and your spouse can inject some experimentation and excitement into the bedroom. Similarly, openness about sexual issues you’re experiencing can help your partner understand your challenges and help adapt your sex life to work for both of you. That can come in the way of utilizing treatments for common disorders– like a prescription for erectile dysfunction, or a lubricant for vaginal dryness, depending on your needs– or experimenting with new activities like non-penetrative sex and longer foreplay. Whatever you need, it’s important to keep your partner in the loop for more enjoyable, stress-free intimacy.
Complacency – The flame of a relationship requires careful tending, so couples begin to drift apart when they forget to focus on their connection. Everyday communication about interests, passions, and frustrations is a critical aspect of staying connected and involved in one another’s lives. Failure to engage in daily relational maintenance like this can come across as being too comfortable to grow or apathetic and make your partner question your commitment to the success of your marriage.
Show interest in your significant other’s life every day to avoid seeming like a passive partner. Ask them about their day, their wins and losses, and ask for feedback on your relationship. Actively working to check in with your spouse and improve your relationship will show your interest in growing together instead of staying in a sedentary marriage.
Poor conflict resolution – Any married couple will tell you that fights are inevitable. Yet, failure to resolve those conflicts will prevent you from moving past them and compromising which can drive a wedge into your marriage. Be sure you’re communicating after your disagreements to identify the deeper problem and understand each other’s needs.
Take the time after fights to cool down, then speak with your spouse about the fight. What was the root of the issue? Do you both understand the other’s points and feelings? Speaking in a measured, calm, and open manner will help you deal with conflicts and remain strong instead of divided. Some couples require the help of a therapist for healthy resolution, which can be a very helpful option. Consider hiring a marriage counselor who will be able to provide an unbiased source for advice.
It’s crucial that you and your spouse make communication an intentional, thoughtful practice early on in your marriage. Consistent check-ins and sharing will help you grow together as a couple instead of apart.
Max Corwin
Staff Writer Dreamsrecycled.com
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