Sleeping Single in a Double Bed

If you have been there, you totally get the idea of sleeping diagonally (or any other odd angle) across your bed. If you are feeling really decadent, you might even lie down on the bed with all your clothes on – just because you can. I’ve even gone so far as to lie down on the bed, fully dressed, with my boots still on my feet! Okay, so to qualify that, I was lying on the bed. My feet were hanging off the edge of the bed… I do have my limits.
Why do we do this? What is so appealing about the idea of sleeping diagonally on the bed? I don’t know why you do it, but for me it was about claiming my territory. “Why the bed?” you ask. Well, DUH! Because it was MY bed, in MY room, in My home, just because I could!
When your marriage has failed, and you are trying to find some semblance of control in your world, the little wins are important. Laying across the bed, in my clothes, claiming the whole bed as my territory, was a BIG win. I had staked the claim that I could lay down whenever I wanted, however I wanted, where ever I wanted. I didn’t need permission to take an afternoon nap. I didn’t have to wait-up for someone else to go to bed at night. I can stay up as late as I want, just because I want to.
There are so many ways you stake a claim to your territory and your new life. You do it when you grocery shop; buying things that you like, giggling as you pass up the aisle with his favorite foods. You do it when you re-arrange the furniture or re-decorate your home. You do it when you join a women’s group or take up a new hobby. You even do it once you learn how to operate the TV remote and select what you watch on TV.
It all adds up. Every little win, every time you stake a claim to your own life, you re-claim a little bit more of yourself. So the next time you want to flop down on your bed, on the couch, on a cushion on the floor, or anywhere else that strikes you as comfortable, go for it! And if you realize that maybe you prefer sleeping in your bed with your head on the pillow and your feet at the foot of the bed, that’s okay too.

Allison Jeffereys

Author A Womens Guide To Surviving Divorce

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