There is an obsession in this world to go out there and find a girl or guy. The expectation is that we need to find a “match” for us, that finding a significant other is what our lives are meant to be. For a lot of people, the greatest goal in their life is to find the right man or woman. The reason bars, nightclubs and of course singles events are so hugely popular is because there are so many of us out in the world spending so much time and effort looking for someone special, searching for love. What kind of person does that attract though, when you live your life feeling like you need a lover? What happens when you’re out in the world and you want a woman but you feel like good women are scarce? “Oh man, I better get married soon!” That is not a good place to be mentally to attract someone you really want, in fact, it’s a horrible place to be. The people that have the mindset of wanting and needing a mate often times end up settling for far less than they really want or even deserve. When you go through life looking out for your own dreams, working on bettering yourself and others and giving to other people, however, you are much more likely to meet someone that could have a meaningful impact on your life. This is because you are shifting your mindset and actions from wanting and needing from others to giving to yourself and others. Let’s be honest, nobody likes a needy person, but unfortunately that is exactly what most people are when they go out to bars and clubs. There is this weird, unhealthy, animalistic urgency to find love.
When you ask, “Why don’t my relationships work?”, this is a good indication of why. STOP thinking that happiness comes from finding a lover, it DOESN’T! Happiness, true happiness comes from loving yourself and when you can love yourself, you are in a much better position to love others unconditionally. When you are happy and fulfilled on your own, that is when you will attract the person of your dreams.