Despite the emotional and physical pain of divorce, most people who end a relationship decide to pursue a new one. This is because the benefits of love far outweigh the pain.
Of course, dating after a divorce is not easy, but there are many steps you can take to ensure that your transition back into the dating world is smooth. Listed below are the five best ways to begin your pursuit of love once more.
1. Make Sure You Are Ready
There is no specific amount of time that you need to take to be to begin to pursue a new relationship, but it is important to ensure that you are ready when you do. This takes a keen sense of self-awareness and a healthy mindset.
One of the simplest ways to determine if you are ready is to simply contemplate dating. Going over the entire process that you went through before in your mind is a good way to learn if you are ready to deal with it again. Sometimes just thinking about the ups and downs can turn you off.
On the other hand, if the thought of finding new love and companionship grows more appealing to you by the day, that could be a good indicator that you are ready to move on and begin building a new part of your life.
2. It’s Okay to Be Afraid
Fear is normal when dating and it is especially common for those who pursue a relationship after a divorce. As difficult as it can be to contemplate a new relationship, actually pursuing and even being in one can be even more nerve wracking.
These feelings, as well as any other related feelings you may have, are completely normal. Instead of trying to ignore them, however, it is important to understand and embrace them. You can do this by speaking to a therapist, a family member, or a friend.
Admitting that you have fear and doubt is actually an extremely healthy and positive step.
3. Stay Positive
In addition to embracing your emotions, it is also important to remain positive, no matter how strongly your feelings are trying to influence you. Divorce can turn even the most positive people into cynics so it is crucial that you push yourself.
The best way to avoid negative thinking and behaviors is to train yourself to recognize errors in your thinking. Cognitive distortions are shortcuts that people take in order to create some semblance of reason for strong emotions. They include overgeneralization, jumping to conclusions, black and white thinking, and catastrophizing.
Each of these distortions makes you see the world in a way that is neither true or productive, especially if you want to begin dating. Instead of falling into these traps, learn them and recognize them when you’re in them.
4. Figure Out What You Want
Once you have good understanding of your emotions you can begin exploring why you want to start dating again. Just because you’re dating after a divorce doesn’t mean you have to get married again. In fact, many people opt for a non-binding partnership as a way of avoiding the process of marriage again.
This step is completely up to you and your expectations and desires may change over time. Just because you can’t see yourself getting married again now, don’t rule out the possibility of rethinking this fact in the future. Once you find someone who provides you with comfort, you may want to make it official and tie the knot once more.
5. Try Online Dating
Your previous relationship may have been the result of the more traditional way of matchmaking, but that doesn’t mean your next one has to be as well. Online dating is more popular now than ever before and if you have never explored the medium, I highly recommend giving it a try.
Not only does it open up a world of people you may never meet in the real world, it can also be a good way to avoid “the conversation” about your former relationship. You might even opt to check out websites that cater specifically to divorcees.
The options are literally limitless and so are your prospects for the future. With the right mindset and the proper tools, you will find love once more.
About the Author
Pauline Plott is a London-based blogger who became a dating guru after learning the psychology behind modern romance and signing up for every dating website in pursuit of relationship bliss. For more insights into dating check out Datingspot.co.uk
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